Comments on: All Blue

By: Amanda

Amanda — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 13:33:22 +0000

Mmmm, this scenario and the ripples of remorse slipped on like an old sweatshirt, seeming to perfectly suit my every line. I imagine you must have felt the occasional scorching of shame on your cheeks as you wrote it. So, I thank you, one slightly off-the-idealized-plan mom to another.

By: Gregg Fraley

Gregg Fraley — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 21:13:54 +0000

All parents lose it. Your post brings to mind an incident that occurred when my daughter Meghan was in grade school. Meghan was a late riser and a reluctant-go-to-schooler and it was always a nose bleed to get her out of bed and ready. Usually I didn’t have to cope with it, but on those occasions when I did, I didn’t cope so well. I tried some “creative” approaches — to get her laughing and more woken up. One morning I was beside myself with the pressure and I tried the usual stuff, nothing happening, so…I don’t know why…I started barking like a dog.

The dog barking incident became symbolic of my lack of sensitivity. I didn’t quite understand until I heard her snatches of her talking to her mother… “…and then he starts barking like a dog”. Yes, I thought, I am an idiot.

My thoughts are with you guys at this time…

By: Dee

Dee — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 02:37:01 +0000

I would have lost my mind, blue ink all over the place. I got upset tonight at a restaurant with my daughter, she was about to have a tantrum and I told her to shut up. We NEVER say shut up in my family. She was so shocked. I had to calm down and explain that I could not deal with a tantrum over pizza. I had to apologize and tell her that I was wrong to say it. I had to explain that I’m not perfect, I make mistakes, I get upset. She said, you know, I get that way with Max sometimes, so I understand. So – maybe we both learned something from it. Hopefully.

By: Caroline Fraley

Caroline Fraley — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 14:54:31 +0000

Another beautiful piece on being a mum, Maggie. Of course, as a mum, I relate to the ink incident completely. Mine was about a glass of wine stupidly left too close to horseplaying feet…
A great reminder that perfection is hardly human, isn’t our vulnerability part of the beauty of being human? It is, at least, for me.
Cx

By: Delphine

Delphine — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 14:42:01 +0000

thanks. maybe we could create a “i-want-to-be-a-mom-like-in-the-movies” club. I also try to be the coolest sweetest funniest mum in the world, being firm, and showing what’s good and what’s wrong altogether, with a calm, soft voice, joyful voice.
But I just can’t. One day I realised (not with the girls but thinking about my lover) that it can also help to burst into tears, to yell, to shout, to cry. Cause if you’re always express your anger or disagreement calmly, he (and I guess it’s the same for children) can think you’re not so angry or not so sad.
So now, when it occurs, I still feel guilty and not-the-mother-I-want-to-be, but I’m thinking about that and I try to see the good side of yelling at them :
1- they can see I’m human and not a kind of superwoman never exploding
2- they can feel and see for real that I’m angry and/or sad and that they did something wrong
3- they can see that THIS IS NOT THE GOOD DAY/TIME FOR HEAVEN4S SAKE !!!!
4- they are allowed to do the same, expressing their own feelings, event not positive or nice feelings, and they are part of us.

I used to try and not show my anger, and it’s still hard for me to show and express it (with the girls it’s easier though ). But I’m convinced anger is in me sometimes, and it’s not so bad to let it go in it’s not nice way…